SINGAPORE: A young local took to Reddit to ask for advice, explaining that their parents do not support their “firm decision” to stay single for life, feeling that they are too young to make such a choice. The post author asked users on the platform about what life is like as a single in Singapore, especially in the longer run, when they are older.
In an April 2 (Wednesday) post on r/askSingapore, they explained that they’re still a student. At this point, they have no plans to date, get married, or have a family and children, and they enjoy independence and plan to live alone.
A big reason for this appears to be the fact that they are self-described “extreme introverts,” and their experience of family life as the oldest of five siblings has been stressful.
“I just plan to study hard, get into local Uni, be employed in a job I’m passionate about and explore adulthood life. My parents think I’m too young to say all these things, but staying single will make my life less stressful. I’m someone who values freedom and quietness in a home. I understand loneliness is a huge factor, but I enjoy spending time alone and am much used to it,” the post author wrote.
There have been many commenters on the post so far. One, who identified themself as a fellow, but older single, wrote, “I can tell you, there will be more pressure from parents who don’t understand.”
Adding that they are learning to cope with parental pressure, they told the post author, “TBH, it’s a lot better to be single and happy than to be attached and miserable.”
Another told the post author, “You don’t have to tell your parents you want to be single for life. Just do it. By a certain age, if you don’t date or get married, they would accept that singlehood would be a permanent state.”
They added, however, that their married friends tend to have less time for hanging out after they have kids, which leaves them with their single friends, with whom they can share “common non-marriage and non-kids topics.”
As for the single life in Singapore, one wrote, “Life is flexible. I got money from working all these years. Eat whatever I want, buy whatever I want, go overseas a few times every year to countries I want, whenever I want — just solo travel. It’s super chill. In fact, I am dragging a [piece of] luggage right now on the way to the airport. Haven’t got my house yet, but I’m not worried about not being able to afford it.”
Another chimed in to say, “The solo travelling is ‘sooo’ worth it, la. I love photography, and being able to take my time to capture the shots is huge for me. Couldn’t imagine anything else right now other than my next trip.”
Not that they’re alone in their choice to not get married and have children one day, though the reasons others give have been somewhat different. Around the world, more and more millennials and Gen Zers have expressed the same sentiments, in part due to concerns about high living costs, the environment, global tensions, and other reasons.
A 2024 US survey from Mass Mutual said that the number of young adults who are choosing this route could be as high as one in four. In 2021, The Guardian reported that in the UK, one in ten 18- to 23-year-olds were thinking about not having kids.
In Singapore, with the birth rate falling and society ageing quickly, young people were asked how they felt about this “crisis” in an Asian Boss interview posted on YouTube on Nov 7. Many cited the rising cost of living when asked about the leading contributing factors to the declining birth rate. /TISG
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